Second life

One minute after the other,

Street light for a spotlight, 

Cardboard box for a stage

Whispering conspirators 

He has been witness to the eyes of men without an orator 

And focused hard on internal strength and not hating

But he knew

Weak words were heavy in a poor man’s  heart

The sweets he wished for, turned to loathed sours

Forget a second chance, he wanted a second life,

And not one on second hand

This time he’ll make sure to not make worse 

What nature made so clear

Which was… 

Don’t wish for anything

Work for it 

AND BE A MAN

BE A MAN

Below is a recap of what was said in the video. I recommend watching the video for full context. Hit the follow button so you can stay up to date with future posts. 

1. Never tolerate indecency being done to you. Set boundaries.

Protect yourself from disrespect, and matter of fact not just yourself but your family and friends from outsiders. 

2. Have self-respect. Having high agreeableness will cause this weakness to be detrimental to your manhood. Here’s why, men like this don’t want others to be treated badly but will disrespect themselves by tolerating disrespect, in order to protect others. If a plane is going down, grab your emergency face mask before helping the person sitting next to you. Help yourself first before helping others. It’s not selfish, it’s survival. Be a man. This goes for relationships too, all kinds romantic, friendships, and professional, if they come at you with some bullshit, shun them until they apologize.  Be a man.

3. Don’t be a yes man and don’t be ashamed to say “No”. Protecting your peace is not mean. Preventing people from doing your harm is not mean. Speak your truth as a man and however, they react is not your responsibility. Moreover, this coincides with cancel culture. Being direct with the truth is offensive these days, so fabrications and saying what wants to be heard is deemed appropriate. Fuck your feelings and face the facts. Be a man

Be a Man – Liberty Community Online

Digesting the Red Pill : A review, commentary, and analysis on the documentary

Disclaimer: This blog post contains some sensitive material that some might not agree with. Reader discretion advised. It will consist of my commentary, a review of the documentary “The Red Pill”, and an analysis of “The Red Pill” community in general and the people who implement the mindset into their daily lives. The opinions I make about the topic are just that, my opinions. I will include statistics from the documentary to add validity to what I’m presenting. With that said, onto the post. 

Before I start to talk about the documentary, I want to go over some lingo to you that I will include in this post. First, “the red pill a.k.a the crimson capsule. Maybe you’re aware of it or have heard of the red pill community that is under The Manosphere (that I will get to soon), but if you haven’t then allow me to enlighten you. In essence, The Red Pill is a metaphor borrowed from the film “The Matrix” which concerns the awakening of men to the true nature of female behavior and how the society they live in is fundamentally misandrist and dominated and favors feminist values. After reading that you might be thinking, “what the f**k, that’s a misogynistic and sexist mindset that degrades and devalues a woman’s worth”. To be honest, I don’t blame you for having that sentiment. However, as I mentioned in the beginning I’ll be commentating, analyzing, and reviewing, The Manosphere specifically The Red Pill, and The Men’s Rights Movement which is under The Manosphere. Speaking of The Manosphere, it is a collection of movements online consisting of websites, blogs, and online forums. They include; the Men’s Rights Movement, The Red Pill, Pick Up Artists (PUA), Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW), The Father’s Rights Group, and Incels. In regards to that, from an outsiders perspective, these groups are perceived as displaying hostility towards women (some do I won’t deny that i.e. Incels), but demonizing the entire Manosphere, in my opinion is disingenuous for the ones that consistently teach unwavering masculinity. For example, the documentary which heavily focuses on The Men’s Right Movement is a group that focuses on general social issues and specific government services that usually neglect and adversely impact, and in some cases discriminate on a structural level against men and boys. 

How angry men's rights activists online helped propel Trump to victory |  openDemocracy

After watching members tell their stories, and their mission statement, I understand after watching the film their intentions is not to attack feminism (even though the latter does consistently to them) but to spotlight issues and bring coverage to things not mentioned that some men face in their relationships with women and the gender roles expectations. For example, in the case of domestic violence, it is usually statistically and agreed that the victim is usually always the woman. However, domestic violence shelters are state-funded and men at least pay half of the taxes that find and operate shelters nationwide, but the irony is that shelters disregard men as victims of domestic violence. Furthermore, in the U.S. there are over 2,000 domestic violence shelters. All of them serve female victims and nearly all of them disregard men victims. In fact, since 2016 there has been only one open all-male domestic violence shelters. Moreover, 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men will experience physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime. This means 43% of these attacks are done to men. With these stats how can these shelters excuse themselves from not providing help to men? Would this not be considered gender discrimination? Equally important, 78% of suicides are done by men and if these services for help only served men wouldn’t there be a debate on how women are overlooked and not seen as equally afflicted? Feminist organizations would consider this gender discrimination quickly. To put it simply, the resources don’t match the need. 

Swallowing the Red Pill: a journey to the heart of modern misogyny |  Technology | The Guardian
What Is The Red Pill? - Business Insider

For the last 50 years, if you look at Feminism and to some extent Womanism, its scrutinized men, labeling them inherently violent, predatory, oppressive, and believing that masculinity is a disease hence why the phrase “toxic masculinity started. To that I say, be mad all you want, because at the end of the day the end product of a woman is a man. Don’t believe me look at families in the ‘50s and ‘60s in the U.S. and how stable and cooperative women were in helping to maintain successful families while following the lead of her husband, and this leads me to talk about patriarchy. Quite frankly, patriarchy is the result of gender roles and not vice versa. In other words, almost all religions and cultures practice patriarchy to establish and maintain a productive society (i.e. Kings, Presidents etc…) and feminism believes that these groups in the Manosphere especially The Men’s Rights Movement want to keep them subordinate. In actuality, just because men are hurting, and sometimes victims themselves doesn’t disregard the issues women are facing. On the topic of patriarchy, religions especially the monotheistic ones and foreign cultures, men don’t tolerate bad behavior with positive reinforcements. As harsh as that might sound I’ll use Islam which I’m familiar with since I grew up in a house with African (Somali) parents and grandparents raising me within the religion. Polygamy is acceptable in Islam and even if I have never personally met a Muslim man with multiple wives, high value Muslim men around the world have or have had multiple wives and you know what type of mindset they employ? These kinds of men fire fast and hire slow. What I mean by that is, she is working for his respect and would need to be looking up to him to lead and to form a harmonious relationship. In this situation the husband will let her know she is easily replaceable and if she does not cooperate in maintaining a successful marriage with him taking the lead at all times, then he’ll have to find it in his next or other wives. This conveys his value that she will follow, commit, and submit to. I’ve seen this personally with my maternal grandparents because even though I was young (age 4) when my grandfather died, I knew my grandmother had love and respect for him and she would speak about him years after his death to her grandchildren as if he was still there. She displayed reverence which I always admired. In regards to the situation I talked about a Muslim man who practices polygamy, to put it simply women get in line when they know you have other women in line. Usually women are the ones with options and when they feel that they is a clear disadvantage, I’m still using this situation, then they’ll do everything they can from being replaced with another woman that will provide him with things he expects from her that she didn’t provide him at first, i.e. Being fit, feminine, friendly, beautiful, inspirational, etc..

Amazon.com: I Took The Red Pill (9781092697491): Anderson, James: Books

When it comes to The Manosphere, the red pill has gotten a bad reputation and it’s understandable when the negative comments and statements are easily seen and heard consistently, but in the grand scheme of things, there are victims and perpetrators on both sides of the fence. On the dark side of The Manosphere, the Incels have stigmatized some aspects of the red pill and their anger from a loveless life full of a lack of romantic relationships caused them to act violently towards their “enemies” only for them to cause their demise. Having said that, I will say this, what these individuals failed to realize is that women find reasons to disqualify men and men do everything to qualify  for women. Don’t believe me? Ask any attractive female how many thirsty comments, direct messages and awkward interactions they’ve had with the opposite sex online and offline. These horny dudes would find creative and sometimes lame ways to seek approval and build a “connection” in order to hook up and date with these attractive females whose “currency” for attention is things such as likes, subscriptions and payments on sex work sites (Onlyfans) and more. With no success and frustration building for years, topped off with a possible psychological disorder will more than likely lead to a disastrous outcome.  All in all, these types of people in the Manosphere is a sector of the bigger picture that needs to be analyzed with an objective stance in my opinion and if you were to not agree with me, that’s okay but just understand that all these groups within the Manosphere ever since its introduction to the world wide web will probably exist in some capacity for years to come and gain more momentum and make its way into mainstream media. There will be a backlash, but the awakening for men to some of the Manosphere groups is only to equip them with the knowledge they were hidden away from. Cassie Jaye the director of the film and I think she did a good job depicting the groups within the red pill especially The Men’s Rights Movement  with an objective perspective, and she genuinely looked intrigued in learning about the dilemmas men in that movement have endured and The Red Pill in its totality. 

Leave a like and comment if you’d like to chime in, but keep it respectful. Also, give my page a follow so you can stay up to date with my future posts. As always peace and keep it real.

What makes a high value man? (The keys to HVM)

What makes a high-value man? Is it his financial stability, how much money he makes, commitment to a successful relationship, appearance, success/accolades, charisma? The list of ways people determine a high-value man is long. So in this post, I want to explain and present two different perspectives in terms of what qualifies a man to be high-value and what high value men expect from the women they’re having relations with. Having said that, I want to state most of this post is informative, but I will sprinkle in my opinions. I consider myself an average joe who’s worked respectable positions from public relations, project management consultant, retail, salesman, and a few others. I’m always trying to better myself for success from my college days getting my bachelors in Marketing to receiving multiple certifications in Marketing and Business management, but even with all those books smarts, I wouldn’t consider myself a high-value man nor have claimed to be one to anyone no matter their status. You’re probably thinking what? You don’t consider yourself a high-value man? You must have some traits that deem you as one or you have a few things you do well that you can improve that can put you into the category of high value man. My answer to that is yes and no and in the second part of this post, I’ll go into detail on how I stack up to what is required to be a high-value man. With that said, I was inspired to write this post after following a YouTube personality that I’ve been following for a few years and I’ve learned from this professional and corporate image consultant who runs a Men’s Lifestyle channel on YouTube. His live streams about high-value men/women have been the craze in the black manosphere lately. The audience he draws in a lot is from black men and women but other races/ethnicities do watch and call into his show which is always interesting. Since he’s on YouTube and is public and on other social media platforms I don’t think I have to be discreet about his identity since he is a public figure on YouTube and Instagram. I’ll be leaving a link to his YouTube channel at the bottom of this post. Without further ado, below I’ll be presenting the 6 keys that constitute being a High-Value Man by Kevin Samuels.

Part 1: Mr. Samuels 6 Keys to being a High-Value Man

  1. Money – Being a viewer of his content he has repeatedly said on his live streams that “you can’t be high value and homeless. In addition, that would also apply to being broke. So when it comes to high value, Mr. Samuels preaches that having a set annual salary adjusted for where you live will cover that first step to being a high-value man. 
  1.  Length of time – High-value men must have a performance length of time which is usually 3 -5 years in their profession. 
  1.  Group Acceptance – Fellow high-value men need to accept you in their social and professional circles. 
  1.  Network – Once a man enters in High-Value status he will network and spend time with fellow high value men. This isn’t to say that they will disregard the people who they grew up with who are average joe’s or disrespect them for the life they’re living. 
  1. Visibility – Having a solidified and professional digital footprint online with a respectable position and income should all be LinkedIn level. This coincides with the Networking from Key # 4. 
  1. Utility – High-value men are useful to the group of high value men they’re in and others they can bestow their expertise too. 

      I remember watching Mr.Samuels broadcast once and had a man who called in that was a teacher and from the man’s perspective he believed he was a high-value man, but Mr. Samuels had differing opinions on it. Mr. Samuels believes the profession is without a doubt valuable but doesn’t have everything it pertains to being a high-value man. To be quite frank, I believe professors in the collegiate level teachers I’ve met and below college level have all 6 keys to being a high value man. However, the 1st key (Money) is circumstantial and depends on that individual’s background. 

Part 2: The General Consensus on High-Value Men 

  1. Emotional Intelligence :
  • Self – awareness: one’s own emotions, drives, personality, passions
  • Self – management: deferring pleasure, taking a power stance, grit
  • Social awareness: other people’s emotions and social dynamics 
  • Relationship management: building and managing positive relations 
  1.  Self Awareness + Self – Management: There is a difference between self – awareness, and self-management. When a man has self – awareness he doesn’t go around asking “what’s my passion” his entire life. And with self – management, they work to get there. This distance themselves from low – quality men who meander through life chasing to get high off drugs and booze without regard for tomorrow. With a persistent mindset, High-Value Men stop at nothing to reach their goals while still taking in the pleasures of life. 
  1. Social Awareness + Relationship: This is equivalent to self – awareness only outward when in social situations. Having strong soft skills will allow high value men to understand social dynamics around them especially when they’re looking for a romantic partner. They’ll need to establish who’s in charge, remain consistent with pursuing reflective partners who are cooperative and supportive. Relationship management will leverage social awareness to build a meaningful network and value – adding relationships 
  1. He Has a Purpose: When a man knows what he wants it takes a minimum amount of drive to develop a purpose. A purpose in the words of Simon Sinek means a man’s WHY. When a man knows his WHY he will have the confidence and determination to get what he desires. For example, look at James Bond as a charismatic and attractive man to women because he always seems to have a bigger pursuit to take on. He’s a thrill – seeking man who has foes to take down and with which makes him an unavailable man. In other words, people want what’s scarce to them.
  1. He takes care of himself  – It takes 7 seconds to make a good impression and people make over 11 assumptions about you once meeting you, so the appearance in terms of attire and physique is imperative to being a High-Value Man. Eating well, Exercising, and always learning and investing in oneself is essential to maintain successful outcomes. 
  1. He has high self – esteem – Self – esteem is not confidence, it’s different. Confidence ebbs and flows depending on the skills in a given field. But self – esteem stays. Self- esteems take into account the losses and weakness, while confidence is derived from strengths and weaknesses. 
  1. He’s not afraid of commitment – Whether it is a job/career, relationships, a project, or simply himself, a high-value man knows when to buckle down and stay focused to get the best outcomes of everything he sets his mind towards. By showing commitment he shows attention and respect instead of jumping from one thing to another. 
  1. He understands that women of value can choose – A woman should be an addition to a high-value man’s life, not the center of it. Hypergamy is real and women want to be with a man she sees compatible with and can lead her to better herself and himself simultaneously. 
  1. He takes responsibility – A high-value man needs to take responsibility no matter the outcome. To put it in a better context, there needs to be control in a high values man life in other words, Internal locus of control, and external locus of control. Internal locus of control means that you believe you are in control of your life. And External locus of control means you believe life events determine the course of your life and you don’t have control over them. Taking responsibility starts with your own life than outwardly by helping people improve just as you have (external) will bring success to a high-value man’s life. 
  1. He has his value system – High-value man indiscriminately accepts value from others. There is no shortage of people telling men how to behave these days: 
  • Religions
  • Women 
  • Parents 
  • MGTOW
  • Red Pill
  • This or that author 
  • Social Media 

 To conclude this post I want to state again that this blog post is mainly informative but it was sprinkled with my opinions. You can do with this information what you will. If you’ve made this far in the post, thank you, you’re a real one for taking the time for me to bestow this knowledge to you, and if you’re a man reading this extra kudos because this is something you’ll need to know. Personally, I feel like I possess some of the attributes to potentially one day become a high – value man in terms of the second part which was the general consensus on what a high – value man is. Anyways, leave a like and comment if you’d like to chime. Also give my page a follow so you stay up to date with future posts. As always peace and keep it real. 

Here a URL link to Mr. Samuels YouTube : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLjodVTY_kZzd3cQ7D82DhA

Book review : Cry like a man : Fighting for Freedom from Emotional Incarceration

“For decades I thought power was based on how much weight you could lift and how many men you could knock out. Now I realize anyone untrained can lift a dumbbell or break a jaw. But real power is when a man can navigate through the pressures of this world without succumbing to negative emotions. To feel something painful and not push it away. To cry, just cry. Like a man”.  (Wilson, 200)

Cry like a man : Fighting for Freedom from Emotional Incarceration by Jason Wilson is an extraordinary book that covers the trials and tribulations he had to endure living in Detroit in the 1970s and 1980s. Wilson takes the reader on a journey and takes on and breaks down black masculinity and masculinity in general in a perspective that some might perceive as a sign of weakness and that’s being vulnerable to be more specific being unashamed to cry. He explains ways through his story to the reader and messages to young men on how to express their anger, fears, desires, temptations and so forth without being condemned, and straying from hope. 

From the first chapter which grips the reader into a story about his grandfather’s lynching to dealing with a verbally harsh and absent father, it created resentment at an early age but it all worked together to shape Jason Wilson’s mission in life to take on challenges and come out with strength even though he felt all the pain going through it. Wilson used his love and trust in Yah (God) once he accepted the Christian faith to guide him through all the blessings and adversity. Even though he does use his Christian faith and teachings in the book, any person of any faith can empathize and appreciate his candidness and journey to becoming a better man. Furthermore, Wilson is the founder and president of The Yunion an organization that unites families and provides young boys with guidance and development so they become successful in any endeavor in their adult life. With that said, Wilson solidified his transformation to becoming a man of God and leader by encouraging and equipping young black boys in his program The Cave of Adullam Transformational Academy (CATTA) which he is the director of, and he gives them daily challenges that test them physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually into manhood.  

This book is well written and is a page-turner for the lessons he provides to the reader in terms of determination, overcoming adversity, grief,  and happiness. Having said that, it all culminates to a great epilogue that brings everything full circle for the reader to know how his life is today with The Yunion and CATTA mentoring and guiding black youth to manhood. I’m glad I got this book for free, not saying I wouldn’t have purchased it because it’s worth every penny for the value it brings to not only young black men but men in general who hide behind a machismo mentality when behind that tough exterior is a vulnerability that is being held down, but that vulnerability will eventually become awakened when hardships happen, and the healing process will begin in order to become a stronger better man and human. I highly recommend this book and below I will show you some of the work Mr. Wilson has done to teach young black boys in Detroit to become the man he and they want to envision. 

My rating for the book : 5/5 

Grade: A

Leave a like and comment if you’d like to chime in. Also give my page a follow so you can stay up to date with my future posts. As always peace and keep it real.

Cry Like a Man: Fighting for Freedom from Emotional Incarceration: Wilson,  Jason, Burgundy, Eshon: 0638302714341: Amazon.com: Books
Cry Like a Man: Fighting for Freedom from Emotional Incarceration: Wilson,  Jason, Burgundy, Eshon: 0638302714341: Amazon.com: Books

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